The coronavirus tested America’s governors — and unfortunately for them, the grades are in.
To quote a line I once heard from my exasperated geometry teacher, “These scores were so disappointing that I decided to grade on a curve.”
The reason so many of these governors failed their respective tests is the same reason I bombed mine: We didn’t prepare.
In my defense, I had a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory, and using it seemed more pressing than learning the Pythagorean theorem.
I’m not sure the governors have as solid an excuse.
The only test the governors have been preparing for over the last four years is the Orange Man Bad exam.
The OMB includes multiple-choice questions like: “Do you agree with what President Trump did today?”
A) No, I disagree
B) No, I strongly disagree
C) No, President Trump is a threat to our democracy and should resign immediately.
Hint: Always go with C!
For the past few years, in between ribbon-cuttings and cocktail parties, many governors would occasionally make national headlines by expressing their utter disdain for President Trump.
While they still take every opportunity to do that — this week New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo said Trump was persona non grata and would need “an army if he thinks he’s going to walk down the streets in New York” — the Trump-deranged outbursts seem exceptionally desperate as of late.
Cuomo’s blame game wouldn’t be as offensive if he weren’t simultaneously getting slobbering praise from the mainstream media.
Oh, and did I mention CNN anchor Chris Cuomo’s favorite governor